How Saying Yes Sets You Free is a perspective shift that reveals why liberation emerges from alignment, not boundaries. Liberation is not found in more control and more rules. It’s not found in tighter boundaries, sharper discernment, or more sophisticated philosophies to govern your life. True liberation lives in the heart, not the mind. And the more we try to control our way into freedom, the further away we get from it.
At TMIC, we are continuing to unravel the layers of control; how it disguises itself as safety, wisdom, even spiritual maturity. And this morning’s meditation offered a piercing look at how much of our personal suffering stems from a misunderstanding of control as progress, and boundaries as empowerment.
What if it’s the opposite?
What if your “no” is actually keeping the very freedom you seek at arm’s length?
The More Control, The More Chaos
Lao Tzu warned us:
“The more prohibitions you make, the poorer people will be.
The more weapons you possess, the greater the chaos.
The more laws you make, the greater the number of criminals.”
This ancient wisdom isn’t just about society, it’s about you.
- The more rules you create to govern yourself…
- The more spiritual tools you accumulate to try to “fix” your life…
- The more boundaries you erect in the name of empowerment…
…the more you become a prisoner of your own mind.
Because underneath it all is the same impulse: fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of chaos. Fear of your own wildness. Fear of your naturalness. And that fear expresses itself through control.
We’ve been taught to treat control as maturity. But it’s often just a sophisticated form of gaslighting and self-repression.
Saying Yes Set You Free, Even When the Mind Says No
Control lives in the mind. It scans for threats. It classifies. It creates rules and hierarchies. It says “this is safe, that is not.” The heart does something different. It embraces, it includes, it sees common humanity, it moves with life, not against it.
Every time you say no to something from a place of fear, you close a door to what’s possible.
You contract. You tighten. You miss what that moment might have been able to teach you.
And here’s the deeper truth:
“No is only necessary when you are living a non-aligned life.”
When your being is in coherence, when you are living in alignment with your natural rhythm and inner truth, life organizes itself around you. The people, opportunities, and experiences that come into your sphere already match. There is nothing to protect yourself from.
“No” is not bad. But it is often a sign that something inside is still seeking control instead of alignment.
Why Boundaries Are Cages
Over the past several years, boundary-setting has become a hallmark theme of spiritual and emotional wellness. And in some ways, it has helped people reclaim their voice, their safety, and their space… for a time.
But here’s what most of those teachings don’t address:
Boundaries are still about control instead of alignment.
They often emerge from a fractured place and a fearful mind, from a life not yet fully aligned, a nervous system still healing, and a self that doesn’t yet trust itself to respond wisely and spontaneously, without rigid guidelines.
If you’re constantly having to create and reinforce your boundaries, it’s a sign you’re still attracting experiences and people that are out of sync with who you truly are. That’s not bad (unless you don’t evolve through it). It’s part of the transition from control to coherence.
Do not become a master at saying no.
Become so attuned to your own being that your yes becomes an energetic filter. Create a life by-design that is so deeply aligned that the misaligned can no longer find their way in.
You become the boundary without having to create one! Once you get this, you will suddenly realize, long term boundaries are B.S. Because if they are good for anything, they’re merely training wheels on the way to standing in your full creative power, where your life aligns with your being – no boundaries required.
Living Without Laws
Lao Tzu says:
“I do nothing, and people become good by themselves.
I seek peace, and people take care of their own problems.”
This is not passivity. This is energetic leadership, and knowing that when people are coming from a liberated state, no laws and rules are necessary. “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify”, writes the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:23. What “edifies” is determined through alignment. Alignment to what or who? To your soul, to God that is within you; to your natural self, or what OSHO referred to as the “loose and natural” self. “Know thyself”, admonishes Socrates.
Why?
Because one must first know the naturalness of the self – what Ramana Maharshi called the “True Self” – before one can align with it; and when we act from true self alignment, we edify. In short, all things are lawful, meaning no laws are required, except the law of knowing oneself and being true to align ones’ thoughts, words and actions with what is true, natural and authentic to your true self.
When you are anchored in the peace of knowing yourself, you don’t need to regulate everyone around you. When you are embodied in your own liberation, you don’t need to defend it, and the training wheels of boundaries are unnecessary.
And when you stop inserting your mind between your experience and your being, life flows again. Naturally. Without coercion.
The desire to legislate everything; to create spiritual laws, moral laws, psychological boundaries, is really a desire to control and predict outcomes.
And predictability is a false god.
The more we try to make life predictable, the more life becomes dry, mechanical, and uninspired.
You don’t need to know what’s next if you know who you are.
You don’t need to control the world with boundaries if you trust your alignment.
You don’t need rules to be good. You need presence to be true.
Shifting from Doing to Being
Control is always about doing. Something needs to be done, some action needs to be taken to attempt to control something else.
It’s about adjusting the external to make the internal feel safe. An action was taken, and your mind believes control has been restored. But it hasn’t, and never will be. It’s what Chad refers to as merely “rearranging the furniture of your life”; it’s the appearance of control, without controlling anything, because nothing is ultimately controllable. It’s form over substance.
But liberation happens when we shift from doing to being.
From fixing to flowing. From protecting to trusting.
It’s not that you stop engaging with life, it’s that you stop relating to it as a series of problems to solve. You drop your belief in perfection, which only exists as a story in your mind.
As you grow, your attention moves from behavior management to energy management. You become less interested in controlling what people say or do, and more focused on who you’re being, becoming and what you’re embodying in THIS present moment.
Because being carries a frequency. And an aligned frequency organizes your life far more powerfully than rules ever could.
A World of Yes
Imagine living in a world where your default is yes.
Not a reactive, people-pleasing yes, but a full-body, aligned, coherent YES! that comes from the deepest, most natural and wild part of your being.
This doesn’t mean you’ll say yes to everything in practice; at least not initially. A transition period from non-alignment to alignment is required. This may take years, when you consider we are talking about unraveling your highly controlled, conditioned life and way of being.
It means your posture is open. And the more you become aligned the more you will say yes, until eventually you will be able to say yes to everything that enters your sphere, because the only things eventually showing up for you are aligned with who you are being.
It means you are no longer bracing for what might go wrong.
You are no longer building a fortress against what you can’t control.
You are meeting life as it is, with an open heart and a steady presence.
That’s what liberation feels like.
And paradoxically, it’s only available when you no longer seek to possess it through control.
The Trap of Problem-Oriented Thinking
Chad touched on this last week: Most problems exist because our minds can’t tolerate peace.
We have problems because we have time to create problems, which gives us the illusion of being in control. When nothing is wrong, the mind will search for something to fix. That search creates “the problem”, and that problem becomes a justification for more control.
Control, complaint, boundaries, and busyness all stem from the same root: the fear that being as you are is not enough.
But what if nothing is wrong?
What if your relationship isn’t a “problem”, it’s just inviting you to listen?
What if your money situation isn’t a crisis, it’s asking for aligned embodiment?
What if your restlessness isn’t a flaw, it’s your nervous system detoxing from a lifetime of doing?
None of this means you shouldn’t take action.
It means the action should arise as a response from being, not anxiety.
Being in the World, Not of It
As we enter the watcher, observer meditation each morning, we are practicing the art of witnessing.
- Watching thoughts arise… without clinging.
- Watching emotions flow… without judgment.
- Watching desires shift… without panic.
This is not about dissociation. It’s about sovereignty. It’s about being liberated from the walking, unconscious, habituated reaction to everything in your life.
It’s how we train ourselves to remain anchored in the world-within, allowing us to be of service and a contribution to the world-without, even as the world-without tries to seduce us back into fear.
As Ramana Maharshi taught:
“To be liberated is to release one’s mind from the world.”
Not to leave it, but to stop being of it.
When you can be in the world, but not of the fear, not of the control, not of the performance, that is when you start living free.
Ask Yourself:
- Where in your life are you still living through rules and rigidity?
- Where are you defending a “no” that actually comes from fear?
- What would it look like to create a life where “no” is no longer necessary?
- What kind of person would you need to become for misaligned people, situations, and patterns to stop arriving at your door?
Don’t rush to answer.
Practice watching.
Practice listening.
Practice letting your openness, your “yes” reshape your life, one clear moment at a time.
Join Us in the Practice
Every weekday, from 10 AM to 11 AM EST, we gather for Free Morning Meditation.
This is not just stillness for the sake of quiet. This is where we unhook from the conditioned mind. Where we let go of the boundaries, rules, and fears that keep us trapped. Where we remember who we are beneath the noise.
Join us. Be the Watcher. And experience the kind of liberation you can’t control your way into, but can say “yes” to.
We’ll see you in the silence.
